he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Houston, we have a blender
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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