I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
