I heard we made out
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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