So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
