Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Its about making memories worth repressing
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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