after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
