Sponge bath it is.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
