when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize