Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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