4 words: hood of his car
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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