i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize