nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
