he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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