I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
