Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I accidentally had phone sex last night
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
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