all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
