I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
