You're completely useless in the revolution.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Randomize
