matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I didn't shave. On purpose
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
