you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
