If that was your dad, he is hot
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
