please come you make the beer taste better
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
