I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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