I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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