The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
