New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Randomize
