discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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