Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
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