She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
