i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
