So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
