I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
