I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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