he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
