I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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