she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
