He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
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