New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
