the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
