I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
