I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I am midnight drunk by noon
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
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