Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
