hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize