I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
