And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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