literally had 100 drinks last night.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
