eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
