help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
