i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
