so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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