hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
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