I want to make a zoo with you.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
