Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
