im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Randomize
