I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Randomize
